Guest Article - The Art of the Lie

Dennis performs a public service by teaching us how to be better bullshitters, because goodness knows we aren't full of enough shit already! Anyway take it away Dennis - Mr S.

The Art of the Lie



We are fascinated by the skillful lie. The ability to make someone act against their own self-interest, using nothing but words, feels almost like hypnotism. We can't get enough of movies about con men using an intricate plan to pull the wool over a greedy mark's eyes. And crafting an effective lie is just plain fun.



Alas, one does not get much opportunity to practice the art of lying in polite society. But that's where games come in! Below I list some ways in which games incorporate lying and talk about whether the mechanic works in that game or not. I also present my rules for executing the perfect lie. Be sure to add more in the Comments section.



The Diplomacy stab



The classic example from my #1 all-time game. "Yes, England, you should definitely abandon your homeland and attack Germany in full force. Mon dieu, of course I will support you! That fleet in the English Channel is...also on its way to Germany!" Which brings us to:



Lying Rule #1 -- A good lie must be clearly in your self-interest.



The biggest mistake I see new Diplomacy players make is to offer a deal that rivals Mother Teresa in generosity. "You do this and this and this, and I'll support you in all of those moves, and you'll gain three centers!" Who is going to believe that you have willingly turned into someone's lackey? The brilliance of Diplomacy is that to make a truly effective stab, you must often concoct two completely different and equally effective battle plans, and present each to a different subset of your opponents. Each potential ally must see that you are both benefiting equally (approximately) from the plan, or they will surely smell a rat. Which plan you follow then depends on how your potential allies receive your ideas, how much they trust you, how much *you* trust *them*, and so on.



Diplomacy also makes for the best "all-time greatest lie" stories after-the-fact. That example in the first paragraph? I really did that once as France, and swallowed half the island in one go. The German's rant at England was legendary.



The Junta foreign aid allocation



"Oh dear, it's been another bad year...." In Junta, each year El Presidente Grande draws eight bills from a random deck to represent foreign aid from fickle Uncle Sam. Each bill is 1-3 million pesos (or whatever the unit is), so the total will be 8-24 million; only the President knows how much. The President then declares a budget allocation to each cabinet member (which is everybody else), and keeps the surplus; only the President knows how much! Since the President never wants the room to know that they are awash in cash, the opening line of this paragraph is as traditional as the ceremonial first shelling of the Presidential Palace. Which brings us to:



Lying Rule #2 -- You can't fool all the people all the time.



The quickest route to a bullet in the back is to screw your cabinet year after year. Give the people nothing, and they will have nothing to lose. So if you want to exploit the Presidency for all it is worth, it helps to tell the truth...at least once, anyway. Give one generous budget -- or better yet, in a lean year, dole out all the money, and show that you have nothing remaining. That way you don't help your opponents too much, and you put them at ease long enough for you to make the big grab.



But should you even be trying to stay President? One move I have tried again and again goes like this. First, give generous budgets to build the people's faith. By getting a lot of cash in circulation, you also draw out a lot of assassin cards, as player's try to steal from each other instead of you. Second, when you finally do draw a healthy amount of cash (16+ million), declare that it's been a truly horrible year, and nominate a budget that no one can possibly accept. Third, make sure it gets voted down, since when that happens, the President gets it ALL. Fourth, get to bank. Fifth, profit.



On second though, replace step 4 with "and then a miracle occurs."



No matter how much trust I build up, I never seem to pull this move off. Has anyone ever managed it, or does the "budget rejected" rule exist just to get the President killed and create chaos? Not that there's anything *wrong* with that....



The Civilization calamity pass



"I have three goods, total value 7, one of which is Salt." Yeah, and another of which says Your Doom in bright red letters. In Civilization, some resource cards are replaced with calamities that do not affect the person who draws them, but the player that accidentally trades for it (trading in Civ uses incomplete information by design). This is one of my least favorite lying mechanisms. Usually it becomes pretty clear who is trying to pawn off a calamity, and someone always ends up taking it anyway, because it is just too important to get the other goods included in the offer. A lie is not as much fun when the opponent sees through it and still plays along. But it does lead us to:



Lying Rule #3 -- Try to be nonchalant; the lie should be forced out of you.



Nothing screams "I have a calamity!" in Civilization like the guy who immediately finds a deal for everyone requesting a trade. "You need Salt? I have Salt! Oh wait, you need Cloth? I have that too!" Patience, Grasshopper. Wait until the leader is feeling a bit of an embargo. After a minute or so of stonewalling, come back with "Well, I suppose I could do it, but I really need something good in return." Hilarity ensues.



The Settlers/Bohnanza "future considerations"



Whaaaaaa? An Ameritrash mechanic in a Euro standard and...BEAN TRADING?!? I cast thee out!



Maybe it's just my game group, but even Euro games can spawn the big lie if there is trading involved. Many times an extra layer of trading will develop called the "future considerations." Note that I'm not talking about a metagame, since it never extends beyond the game currently in progress. But in our group, the promise to go easy on a future deal in exchange for some help right now is a gold standard currency. Bohnanza is the perfect game for this, since during the trading phase, all beans in play must be planted, even if you have to dig up a promising field to do it. So often the active player will be desperate to take *any* deal, just to get rid of the cards in front of him. And thus comes..."OK, I'll give you a Stink for those three, but I'm going to want some future considerations." Settlers also works well in those moments when you are trying to trade down to seven cards to avoid being robber fodder. All of which leads us to:



Lying Rule #4 -- Save the big lie for last.



The "future considerations" show up in our trading games because we actually do make future considerations, which work out beneficially for both parties. Right up until they don't. As Mr. Burns said when taking the Pin Pals bowling trophy, a true leader knows when to make the sudden grab for personal glory. Tell the truth right up until the lie will guarantee the win...and then lie like a rug.



Don't forget to add more Lying Rules in the Comments section!