Wednesday, 17 October 2007

Impromptu Mailbag--Filling in for Skeletor

There's a good letter in the bag still left for Skeletor, but I had to take this one, BEFORE IT WAS TOO LATE...


__________________________________

Good Day, Please Read.My name is Mr.Song Lile i am the director of operation in Hang Seng Bank Hong Kong.

I have a business proposal in the tune of $19.5m. After the successful transfer, we shall share in ratio of 30% for you and 70% for me.

Should you be interested, please contact me through my private email (LIKE I'M GOING TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU GUYS! --Ken) so we can commence all arrangements and I will give you more information on how we would handle this project.

Please treat this business with utmost confidentiality and send me the following.

Full names:
Private phone number:
Current residential address:
Occupation:
Age:


Kind Regards, Mr. Song Lile.


______________________________________


Well, Mr. Song....you've just made my dreams come true! 19 MILLION?! Dude, that's a lot of coffin-sized FFG games right there! With those proceeds, I can buy the FFG crew some serious "Thank You" gifts....for Jeremy, a Slave Leia costume....for Thaadd, a "Game Designers Journal" to help her keep her myriad design projects safe...for Kevin Wilson, an autographed picture of me...the list goes on and on and on. I can even buy Mike Chapel a giant codpiece for his monkey genetalia. My altruism shall know no bounds! MY LEDGERDOMAIN SHALL BE KINDNESS AND LOVE!

I mean, I'm not sure how you got my email address Mr. Song, I'm assuming it's because you read my "Geek of the Week" posts on BGG and were so impressed you had to contact me right away. Believe me dude, I totally understand.


Here are the details you need:


Full Names: Michael Hunt
Private Phone Number: (555) 555-1212
Current Residential Address: 420 Paper Street, Wilmington, DE, 19886
Occupation: Male Stripper
Age: A lady never tells



Anyway, it's been fun writing for you guys, but now that I'm rich, y'all can bite me.

20 comments:

Ken B. said...

I know a lot of you are saying, "But Ken! You left out Stephen 'Turds' Avery!"

No. No I did not.

MWChapel said...

Hey where's the ESSEN photos??? Where's the review for Antler Island? Man, this site is flawed.

silentdibs said...

LEDGERDOMAIN is the best part.

Michael Barnes said...

Dude, you should totally take advantage of this offer...based on my Geeklist "What I Played at Billy and Mike Con '06" I was contacted last year by a Nigerian prince named Ngwai Abebe who needed someone to transfer a couple of million dollars into a US bank account and we split the loot. I was a little suspicious that he wanted my credit card numbers, SSN, bank account information, and so forth but where would the internet be without blind trust of strangers? That gold house and rocket card didn't buy themselves!

Ken B. said...

What?! I thought it was the Gameshark gig that paid for all that schwag.

Now I'm tripley... tripoly...tripleaichedly...

Oh screw it, I'm much more excited now that I was previously, I guess would be the primary bullet point I'm trying to get across here.

neonpeon said...

Ha, I'm getting $23 million from this Nigerian guy, Ken.

Michael Barnes said...

Now I'm tripley... tripoly...tripleaichedly...

Stay within your ledgerdomain, Ken.

433 said...

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't fit in any Slave Leia costume you gave me.

Thaadd said...

Heh. Game Designers Journal - well, not like a little organization would be found amiss here!

Maybe it could one of those snazzy ones,like I had when I was a kidlet, with a little lock on the clasp to keep my big sister out...

StephenAvery said...

Bite Me Ken,

I'll have you know that a British Financeer has cut me in for 7.5 mill compared to your meager paltry 5.85.

Also with all the hot stock tips I've been recieving I'll easily parlay it into two or three times that amount.

Lastly, I've been given the secret formula for penis enhancement so I'm afraid I outshine you on all fronts. Sorry ol chap. I'm on my way to being a billionare, Biyatch. ;D

Steve"HotTip"Avery

Mr. Simon Jingleheymer said...

Hello,

I am Simon Jingleheymer, the wealthy British financeer who afforded Mr. Avery the opportunity to assist me in the transfer of funds to Chinese bankks. How I discovered Mr. Avery's name on this vast internet is no concern of yours, but rest assured that Mr. Avery was chosen out of a large number of candidates. You see, it is very difficult for me to do business with the Chinoise due to their government restrictions so I must use Mr. Avery's bank account to transmit money to and from my business associates there. And Mr. Avery is not alone in sharing this good fortune! Jingleheymer Opportunities has provided champagne lifestyles for many other internet users in exchange for some basic personal information (including copies of passports, personal IDs, drivers licenses, birth certifiate, and so forth- nothing out of the ordinary and the ability to simply desposit a check in your bank. I think it is sad that many of you have lined up to make light of these legitimate business opportunities like those offered by these entreprenuers who are simply trying to leverage the possibilites of the internet to conduct business.

Thank you very much,

Simon Jingleheymer
Jingleheymer Opportunities

J de said...

Jingleheymer, that sounds very.... Nigerian

Mr Skeletor said...

Hmm, just checked the letterbox and Ryan W sent me a good one a while ago (dunno how I missed it) but it's a bit late to print it! :(

I also didn't realise that Essen was on until Monkey man spruked it. Am I asleep at the wheel or is BGG just not making a big deal about it?

Muzza said...

Essen?

Is that in Europe somewhere?

Muzza said...

I think my Grandad bombed it in the war...

Michael Barnes said...

Muzza, quit "Essen" around!

J de said...

Am I asleep at the wheel or is BGG just not making a big deal about it?

You are asleep at the wheel. Don't let it end like Detroit Rock City.

Mr Skeletor said...

So where is all the coverage? All the geek lists? I hardly see any.

Ken B. said...

I think they were too awed with Mike Barnes' coverage. They were all like, "Why even bother at this point?"

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