Tuesday, 17 July 2007

Mr Skeletor's Mailbag, 18th July

I better get off my ass and do this before Franklincobb starts cracking the whip again:

Panzer “I sent this in 3 weeks ago you lasy bum!” Patching writes:

Hello Mr Skeletor, just a couple of completely un-connected questions for

Why isn't RISK more popular in Mongolia? Let's face it, the Mongols are the
only nation who've managed to hang onto that big scoring Asian continent for
any amount of time. Do you think it's becasue the unimpeded winds of the
open steppe play havoc with the plastic pieces?

Is this you? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8Z24Z3o5gM

Why is it that whenever a games company makes it big (or indeed if a games
company was already big) it becomes physically impossible to say anything
remotely positive about them without hordes pf people jumping over
themselves to be the first to slag them off? I'm thinking primarily of
Games Workshop and Avalon Hill here. Mark my words, it's only a matter of
time before Fantasy Flight joins this elite crew.



I’ll label my answers with numbers which correspond to the questions which you didn’t number. Or something.

1) In order to answer this question lets look at what Wikipedia has to say about Mongolia:

Mongolia (Mongolian: Монгол улс) is the world's second-largest landlocked country after Kazakhstan. It is typically classified as being a part of East Asia, although sometimes it is considered part of Central Asia, and the northern rim of historical Mongolia extends into North Asia. It is bordered by Russia to the north and China to the south. Mongolia's political system is parliamentary democracy. Its capital and largest city is Ulaanbaatar.

Now, we all know Kazakhstan is famous for being the home of Borat, but what that has to do with your question I don’t know, I’m just biding time while desperately trying to think of something witty to say, and failing miserably. When I was in Hong Kong I was locked in a room in a nightclub with 2 Mongolian chicks once for three hours while the cops searched the entire club, so maybe that has something to do with it. Or maybe not. Let’s just leave it as “I have no fucking idea” and move onto the next question.

2) No, I am not Keven Conn, who recently retired from the “Unemployed Skeletor” bit. If it was me there would be a hell of a lot more swearing. I like his taste in women though…

3) The reason people slag off Avon Hill and Games Workshop is because their games have too much flavour and not enough meeple. Actually it’s probably more to do with the fact these guys pretty much stopped making boardgames all together didn’t they? You have to admit, both companies are no where near as good these days as they use to be (kind of like BGG – ohh feel the burn!) I myself will refrain from slagging off Fantasy Flight games however, as if I do Thaadd wont give me anymore precious spare parts after my dog eats them.

Jar82@verizon.net writes:

It seems a lot of American-style games lately have been incorporating Euro-mechanics into their rules. While this has been hailed as a good thing by some at Fortress Ameritrash, I can't help but wonder how much better some games could've been without them.

Now I love Twilight Imperium, but wouldn't it be better without the Puerto Rico-style Strategy Cards? Just let every player do everything in phases a la Civilization. And Age of Mythology would have been just wonderful had it used an actual map so your plastic minotaurs and mummies could be fighting over actual physical space.

What do you think?


For starters Jar82 I, unlike my peers here, do not believe in this ‘hybrid’ bullshit people bandy about. A game to me is either a Euro or an AT, even if they are borrowing from the other genre. Warrior knights may have many ‘euro like’ mechanics, but it’s still firmly an AT game. It’s the end result that matters – Just because you stuff your roast with organic salad it doesn’t mean it’s a hybrid vegetarian meal.

Games have been developing innovative mechanics and pinching innovative mechanics long before the Euro was a gleam in some young punk German’s eye. So why shouldn’t they pinch the good stuff Euros have, especially if they can make a better game out of it. Euros didn’t invent the Auction after all!

In response to your examples – I haven’t played TI 2nd edition which sounds like what you described, so I don’t know if dropping the strategy cards would improve the game. Your Age of Mythology idea sounds similar to Titan, which isn’t a bad thing at all. Maybe someone should design this variant?

Send your mail to fortressat@gmail.com with “[mailbag]” in the header to be part of the fun.


adrianbolt said...

Coming from behind again Mr S?
And still legless!

Russ Fade said...

Completely irrelevant, but boy, have I found the shirt for you, Mr. S!!

Go to www.ebay.com. Enter 110144879603 in the search box.

Shows you've got legs . . . and a finger! And a taste for the sauce.

adrianbolt said...

Great shirt Russ!
Maybe F:AT should try for a bulk discount.

Ken B. said...

Y'know, if I knew you were bringing awesome pics with every mailbag, I'd have given you all the time you needed.

Now get back to work, skullhead.

Pat H said...

Sorry but there's no passion in that titty grab, it looks staged.

Tom Hazlett (Southernman) said...

Russ Fade said...
Completely irrelevant, but boy, have I found the shirt for you, Mr. S!!

Go to www.ebay.com. Enter 110144879603 in the search box.

I prophesize a new avatar coming along at a BGG site near you .....

But I'm still torn between this and the 'Barnes was Right/F:A Forever' tee.

Michael Barnes said...

I think that's actually Tom Vasel masquerading as Mr. Skeletor- note how poor the costume looks, and also note that he's manually censoring that woman's vile, filthy breasts.

Clarissimus said...

That Youtube thing just drones on and on. Chad Vader was much better.

Mr Skeletor said...

Yeah I have to admit I have never sat through an entire episode of Unemployed skeletor, but the dude has a lot of fans so more power to him.

That topic is fucking excellent. Id buy one if I could work out how american sizes work.

bob_the_goon said...

But I'm still torn between this and the 'Barnes was Right/F:A Forever' tee.

If you really like it that much, I could probably arrange for you to get one. . .

I can be PM'd through the other leading board game site.

Russ Fade said...

That topic is fucking excellent. Id buy one if I could work out how american sizes work.

Well, how fat are you?

There are rough guesses but:

190-210 lbs . . . X-large

220-250 lbs . . . XX-large

260-300 lbs . . . xxx-large

300+ . . . damn, go on a diet, Skeletor!!

Russ Fade said...

But I'm still torn between this and the 'Barnes was Right/F:A Forever' tee.

If you really like it that much, I could probably arrange for you to get one. . .

What shirt are you guys talking about? What'd I miss?

Mr Skeletor said...

We don't have lbs here russ. We went metric years ago.

Bob, if you're going to do another run of those shirts I'd defiantly be interested in buying one.

MWChapel said...

They go by "stones" there. Or in his case, "boulders"....

bob_the_goon said...

Skeletor, if you want one, just get me your contact info and size, you pay shipping to Eternia or whatever you call that continent you're on. Mr. Barnes can obviously get a free one too. I'm willing to do a limited run for more or less cost plus shipping for anyone else.

Russ, I posted a comment on the Barnes is a Butthead thread with a link to pics of a shirt i wore at Origins. I'm too lazy to repost the links, but the pics are also in my BGG profile.

Pat H said...

Bob - why the one color? How about some artwork on there. Are you doing this at home with the one screen jobber?

bob_the_goon said...

Pat- This was a quick one screen jobber because I decided to do it 24 hours before leaving for Origins. Plus the artwork on the back is actually my Geek avatar, which is normally white on a black field. I really couldn't think of any great artwork spur of the moment for the front, and probably wouldn't have had time to make it if there was art. Besides, I just wanted to get my point across and see if anyone would disagree to my face. They didn't. Lots of positive comments though.

I already had a much larger screen of my avatar, so the back was a simple matter of shrinking the image and adding the text, no real design involved. Plus that screen doubled to make a messanger bag for the dealer room as well.

Pat H said...

Bob - definitely no need to explain the why's - it's a great idea and I'm sure many got some good laughs out of it. I was just curious as I used to..er...let's say…well I better not. Let's say that for years I flogged t-shirts on the side at events. I was thinking of the possibilities etc...

Good stuff Bob.

Russ Fade said...

I did tell someone that the ink was mixed with the tears of Thornquist. . .

Found this comment of yours on your shirt, Bob. Oh . . . just wow. You're my new hero.

Mr Skeletor said...

I actually like the simple design and one color. Makes it look more trendy and less like some D&D nerd shit. It reminds me of the "Vote for Pedro" tops which are popular around here.

I'm totally going to be wearing that to a nightclub.

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