Thursday, 26 July 2007

JUNK NEWSFLASH--Readers and Contributors of "Fortress: Ameritrash" Blog Experiencing Mass Hysteria

Panic and chaos ensued today when frequent readers of the "Fortress: Ameritrash" blog began experiencing what authorities could only refer to as "a delusional mass hysteria."

"Lots of them were complaining of voices in their heads, ranting, rambling, talking about...nothing in particular, really," said a local law enforcement official, who spoke under the condition of anonymity.

"It was pretty weird, man," said reader Pat H. "I never knew the voice inside my head was such a douchebag."

Proprietors of Fortress: Ameritrash have advised their readers that, in the event they should experience symptoms of this mass hysteria--and by extension, begin to hear these "voices"--they should remain calm, and ignore them; reports are already coming in that after a short period of time, these voices will disappear as though they were never there.

When Robert Martin, contributor to the blog, was asked for a direct comment, he stated, "Mass hysteria is no excuse for douchebaggery. Say, you guys have any beer?"