Friday, 13 July 2007

It's official, Barnes is 90% butthead

Steves Weeks' latest (and possibly final) Ultimate Podcast did an interview with Derk Solko but for some reason isn't on his website. For those who missed it you can hear it here:

http://dav.earthlink.net/stephenweeks/MegaMail/2436702610f534d76d428652813bed2a

Derk officially confirms Barnes is 90% butthead. Feel free to post your condolences to the Barnes family below.

109 comments:

Mr Skeletor said...

Opps, should have listened to the whole thing before posting since I'm an official butthead too.
I feel cold. Hold me Barnes.

Michael Barnes said...

Don't worry Mr. Skeletor...I won't let go.

Ken B. said...

I would love to hear Derk's thoughts on the puke-inducing drive on BGG to "dethrone" Magic Girl as the site's #1 image.

"Yes, rather than have people think the males of this site are heterosexual, we'd rather give the impression that we're really into a picture of someone else's kid."

Mr Skeletor said...

I don't get it either Ken. If the magic girl says we are immature magic the gathering nerds who giggles over boobies; then candy land kid must say we are a bunch of pedophiles. Or did I miss the part where BGGeekers love candyland?

Seriously, WTF? If this 'top image" bullshit is important then they should have pimped the image of the 4 guys playing TI3: a great image showing people of different colors and creeds getting together for some drinks, nibbles and a game and having what looks to be a ball in the process, united in their love of planetary conquest and alien enslavement.

Joe Belanger said...

Derk's single-cheek resemblin' noggin is just lashing out for him in a jealous rage.

Shame and regret forthcoming.

Love ya, Derk. Go baldies*!


*I couldn't resist. My dad is bald and bald rips flow from us (his kids) like the salmon of Capistrano.

Juniper said...

Maybe what is called for here is a special "Buttheads and Gaming" forum where you guys can feel free to discuss games without fear of harassment by those that are unsympathetic to the plight of the socially graceless.

Derk's new theme song is pretty good.

ubarose said...

I have mixed feelings about the dethrone the magic girl drive. I may regret saying this but, it just took one crack about my panties and I had the lunatic fringe e-mailing me about my underwear. So personally, I wouldn't wish magic girl notoriety on any woman. However, if the magic girl herself had an issue with the photo, she would have done something about it by now.

And don't get me started on the pedophiles. If any of you ever consider taking your kids to a con, do not let them out of your sight for a second.

90% butthead is little harsh. That only leaves 10% to divide up between loud mouth, trouble maker, clown, pain in the ass . . .

Michael Barnes said...

Last night I got called "skinflint" and "shylock" during a game of WARRIOR KNIGHTS so that's got to make its way into that spare 10% somehow.

BTW...who's Beavis in this equation, anyway?

As far as the #1 picture thing goes...you know how those sad sack trainspotters are over there...all hung up on statistics and such...I've even seen a couple of guys who tag games based on box dimensions.

On pedophilia...I echo Ubarose's sentiment. They should stage one of those Dateline busts at a scifi convention. That'd be hysterical. Some dude in a Stormtrooper outfit goes into a hotel room with some girl dressed like some anime character (since anime is about 75% by, for, and about pedophiles anyway). Then the dateline guy comes out "How you doin' sir". Then Stormtrooper guy backpedals..."Uh...we were just going to hang out".

I'm glad Joe's around...I admire his special brand of vitriol.

Juniper said...

Magic Girl is clearly underage, so it's pedophilia either way.

If I ran BGG, I'd have deleted that photo long ago, but I'd make cartoon nipples on avatars mandatory.

Mr Skeletor said...

Magic Girl is clearly underage, so it's pedophilia either way.

Wasn't she identified (Hungarian champion or something) and said to be in her late 20s?

Tom Hazlett (Southernman) said...

Rather be 90% butthead and hanging out at F:A than 100% dickhead and looking plain pathetic at BoredGameGimps.

Juniper said...

Wasn't she identified (Hungarian champion or something) and said to be in her late 20s?

Apparently, there is someone named Eda Bilsel from Turkey. Are you thinking of her? She is not the individual pictured in the notorious "Magic Girl" image.

joe grundy said...

yes, I like to find something every two weeks or so to bitch about on BGG cause it aint boring enough just yet..

and they called you amneritrash guys dissruptive, well they aint seen nothing yet

pwn3d said...

BGG is like the TV show "Full House". I guess FAT is "South Park"? Maybe a show on the WB?

Thaadd said...

Wow. I have no idea what this fuss is about. I guess that makes me happy.

Several years ago the Sci Fi Con that I help run switched from 21+ badges to 18+ badges (and ofc the kids badge for anything below).

Theoretically it was so you could not fall back on your excuse of not carding people for booze at hotel room parties, but I think there were a number of people happy to be able to pick out the legal from the not...

ironcates said...

I'd like to report a concern.

Derk personally attacked Michael and called him a name. He should be banned.

slownax said...

Family Matters? With Barnes as Urkel?

mtlawson said...

I can see where that badge idea would come in handy, as I'm a lousy judge of age. Not that I'd need anything like that anyway, mind you; I've been taken for about 18 years now.

It's been about 12+ years since I've last been to a Con, but I don't recall seeing that many kids around. Teenagers are a different thing, but I don't recall hordes of them around either. Michael, is what you're hinting at (kids in Anime outfits and um, other things) a big deal these days?

As for the "emasculation" of BGG by dethroning "Magic Girl", it only becomes important to people who look for symbolism. If you're into making symbolic gestures to give some validity to your inclusiveness, then whatever floats your boat. For my money, however, it's all about how you act in general. All the symbols in the world ain't going to change how you interact with people, and if you're a jerk who can't handle dealings with the opposite sex in a decent fashion, it'll show.

--Mike L.

Russ Fade said...

I just feel bad I fell for it and gave the Candyland Girl a thumb up. Hey, it IS a cute pic.

I then saw a post where I was part of a . . . numerical statistic!!! . . that says X number of people hate cleavage.

Uhm . . . thumb removed! I love cleavage! Mine is the best!

Mr S, I agree with you on the TI3 picture. The PC freaks at BGG should be all over the multi-ethinicity of it. They didn't even pull that pic up, though. Who pulls it up but the former Osama Bin Davis.

Juniper said...

But Russ, it's the cleavage of someone that is obviously very, very young. You're creeping me out, man.

Tom Hazlett (Southernman) said...

Juniper said...
But Russ, it's the cleavage of someone that is obviously very, very young. You're creeping me out, man.


I gave in and went to have a look at this photo (I think I had seen it once before) and I was wondering what age does she appear to be - to me I would put her in the 17 to 21 age group .... purely because this is one of the most amusing sub-threads I have seen on F:A

Tom Hazlett (Southernman) said...

Hey - any French F:Atties around ... Bastille day today, what happens generally ?

ubarose said...

Pedophiles see the word "games" in an event description and show up because they assume there will be lots of kids around. The same thing happens at doll shows, except it's easier to spot the two creepy guys among the 500 woman. At board game events the creeps kind of blend in. If you are tuned in, you can spot them.

Mr Skeletor said...

BGG is like the TV show "Full House". I guess FAT is "South Park"? Maybe a show on the WB?

Does that mean this interview was the equivalent of John Stamos on Kerry Ann:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1gNgvMTOoY

Jack Hill said...

Which is worse, being obsessed with the content at BGG, or being obsessed with reading about the discussions about the content at BGG?

As to the title, clearly wrong---he's probably only about 20-25%.

Twelve said...

I would love to hear Derk's thoughts on the puke-inducing drive on BGG to "dethrone" Magic Girl as the site's #1 image.

Oh man I saw the drive to vote up the candyland girl but I didn't know it was because the "hey look boobies" pic was #1. So, I added one more vote for Magic Girl. :)

But seriously, I wish there were a lot more shots of people playing games on the geek. I mean, I only need a couple shots to show me as a prospective buyer of the game what the components look like. I'm getting a little sick of all the picture of single customized components, or other useless crap.

Twelve said...

PS. I love the caption on
this photo.
So *that*'s what it looks like.

Russ Fade said...

But Russ, it's the cleavage of someone that is obviously very, very young. You're creeping me out, man.


I didn't say I love HER cleavage in particular. God, do you have to defend every freaking thing you say on the internet?

I do love cleavage "in general" and thus did not wish to be included in the "count" on Candyland Girl thumbs that indicated people who "have a problem with cleavage." Does that make any sense to you at all?

As to her age . . . I don't think you can really tell how old she is. The way you worded your statement, you're making it sound like she's 11 or something. I don't think so.

Not that it's worth discussing. I really don't give a crap.

Juniper said...

As to her age . . . I don't think you can really tell how old she is.

"But, Your Honor, I couldn't really tell how old she was. She looked 15, sure, but I chose to assume she was 21."

Not that it's worth discussing. I really don't give a crap.

Evidently, you do.

mtlawson said...

Look, I don't think Russ is advocating hitting on Magic Girl because of her cleavage or anything like that. As for not being able to tell her age, I'd be guilty of not being a good judge of age. I knew co-ops at a previous employer who looked younger than her and were in their 20s. Same for a couple of friends from college; one had a problem with high school kids hitting on her, because she looked 16 when she was 21. (I can only imagine that her relative youth is an advantage now, since we're both in our late 30's.)

My opinion on that is, if there's any doubt in your mind, don't hit on her, and for Pete's sake don't leer about it. I'm old enough anyway to look at Magic Girl and wonder whether she's a decent babysitter for the kids as opposed to anything else. Okay, I was also amused at the obvious distraction attempt during the game (ala Gates McFadden in Taking Care of Business), but amusement != approval of leering at underage teens.

--Mike L.

MWChapel said...

Magic Girl? Candyland? WTF do you guys read on the geek? You probably still read the sexism thread too. "mark as read" people.


//Officially not a butthead.

mtlawson said...

Pedophiles see the word "games" in an event description and show up because they assume there will be lots of kids around. The same thing happens at doll shows, except it's easier to spot the two creepy guys among the 500 woman. At board game events the creeps kind of blend in. If you are tuned in, you can spot them.

Ubarose, you'd think that some undercover detectives would recognize that sort of thing and would show up just to go and spot the bizarros. It'd be almost easier than trying to fake out the creeps in chatrooms.

Thanks for the lowdown; I might not be taking my kids to a Con anytime soon, then, if that's the case. The last thing I'd want to worry about at a gaming Con would be that sort of thing.

--Mike L.

Lance Moody said...

All this info about creeps at cons sound much as though made up AS IT WAS BEING TYPED...

I just took my son to Origins and could not have had a better time.

Any fear of cons (especially stemming from this idiotic thread) would be misplaced.


Lance

Juniper said...

All this info about creeps at cons sound much as though made up AS IT WAS BEING TYPED...

I just took my son to Origins and could not have had a better time.

Any fear of cons (especially stemming from this idiotic thread) would be misplaced.


"I've never died in a car crash. Therefore, traffic fatalities never occur."

Spot the logical fallacy.

Tom Hazlett (Southernman) said...

Sounds like Lance wants us to our little kids along to the next Con he's at >:-|

KenHR said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lance Moody said...

"Spot the logical fallacy."

Spot the lack of knowledge about logical fallacies...

I know there are 10's of thousands of auto deaths per year...how many cases of children being attacked at cons can you cite?

It's like shooting fish in a barrel.

As to the other moron's comment---doesn't deserve a response but I will say it does belong right here.

Russ Fade said...

Magic Girl? Candyland? WTF do you guys read on the geek? You probably still read the sexism thread too. "mark as read" people.


I know, really. Somebody ban me from bgg! How is it done? Gaaaagh!!

Joe Belanger said...

I've never seen any weirdos at all of the cons that I've attended. There's hardly any time to look for weirdos with all of the lollipops that I've got to hand out to wandering children.

Tom Hazlett (Southernman) said...

C'mon Lance - is that your real name or just your 'online name for talking to young gamers' - you are far too serious for this site ... as well has being a fucking dickhead.

Juniper said...

how many cases of children being attacked at cons can you cite?

Irrelevant. Ubarose didn't say anything about physical attacks at the cons. Kids don't get physically attacked in chat rooms, either.

Maybe we should return to the topic of this thread. Is Barnes more or less than 90% butthead? Are there standards by which these things are quantified? And what is the conversion rate between butthead and fucking dickhead?

Joe Belanger said...

Is Barnes more or less than 90% butthead? Are there standards by which these things are quantified?

Hell yes, it can be quantified. Derk is saying that Barnes 90% more butthead than himself. Meaning that Derk considers Barnes to be nearly twice the butthead that he, himself, is. Having met Derk personally and if we allow Derk the validity of his estimation then THAT, my friends, is a lot of butthead.

Clarissimus said...

Here's some data I pulled that I'm sure many of you will find interesting:

1203 people on the Geek have rated Michael Barnes's buttheadedness.

Of those 1203, only 132 rated his buttheadedness at 90% or higher.

Their favorite games were:
1. Puerto Rico
2. Hey! That's My Fish!
3. Caylus
4. TransAmerica
5. Milch und Gerken

Meanwhile, fully 452 rated his buttheadedness at 25% or lower.

Their highest-ranked games were:
1. Monopoly
2. Trivial Pursuit
3. Scrabble
4. Scattegories
5. Busen Memo

The mean rating for his buttheadedness was 56.7% and the median was 63%. This is up substantially from last year, when his buttheadedness averaged a mere 23.9%.

American users rated him at at average of 52% butthead, while Europeans had him at 67%. And Hispanic Buddhist Republican stay-at-home dads over the age of 40 declared him (on average) a 95.4% butthead, the highest rating for any demographic.

Anonymous said...

What has happened to Barnes? Has he been neutered? Barnes is called a Butthead by Derk and his only response is a man hug with Skeletor?

Is Barnes trying to be "above it all" just because he is now writing an article for some "Wanna Be Gamespot" website?

What happened to the nuclear bombs, the chicks on bikes? You guys call this Fortress Ameritrash? Bullshit! More like University of Ameritrash! No wonder guys like DW Tripp and even Robert Martin barely post anymore.

I blame it all on Ubarose, ever since you guys let her in she has become the "Den Mother" to Cub Scout Pack Ameritrash. Don't get me wrong, she should be allowed to participate but as a member of the Fortress, come on! Since when is doll shows Ameritrash?

But then again, they way you wussies are acting lately I bet you guys would love a good doll show! HA!

Lance Moody said...

Tom,

Let me guess...divorced, right?

Mr Skeletor said...

I'm with lance - this whole "creeps at cons" bullshit sounds like Hunga Dunga style paranoia. My 'pedophiles' comment was meant to be throw away.

Besides there are a lot of people talking absolute bullshit on this thread. There is a WORLD of difference between cheeking out a 17 year old vs an 8 year old. No one is talking about banging a 17 year old (which is legal in Australia btw) but any guy who claims to have never stared at a 17 year olds rack through the corner of his eye is full of shit. Girls don't suddenly develop into womanhood on the eve of their 18th birthday you know, and lest we forget it's only been the last 100 years that there have even been age of consent laws so high - in biblical times people were normally married at 13 & 14.

Now young 'women' don't interest me because they are normally dumb as shit, but please forgive me for not thinking that taking a gander at a FULLY DEVELOPED set of boobs is a crime. On the other hand anyone caught checking out children should be castrated.

Back on topic if i'm 100% butthead does that actually make me an asshole?

Also the latest Anonymous should out himself because I like the cut of his jib.

Juniper said...

in biblical times people were normally married at 13 & 14.

Yeah, but the Magic tournaments sucked, because everybody had Black Lotus and Juzam Djinn decks.

Michael Barnes said...

Clarissimus- could you compile some Bayesian numbers that we can cross-reference with some Meyers- Briggs charts? Can somebody do a pie graph? I'm a bit concerned that certain results might be inaccurate.

On Con Perverts- have you ever listened to some of the dialogue at any given scifi/fantasy/gaming convention? I've overheard more than my share of incredibly explicit details of fantasized sexual exploits with underage girls there than I have serious conversation about science fiction and fantasy topics. Every year we go to Dragon Con (which was founded and ran by a convicted pedophile), my wife gets subjected to all kinds of licentious and lewd behavior ranging from wandering hands on the elevator to fatass nerds surreptitiously sticking their cellphone cameras up her skirt. It's fucking sick and the funny thing is all you've got to do is say _anything_ to these deadbeats and they cower like a father of four caught renting ANAL ALAN AND THE BAREBACK BRIGADE #4 down at the local pornography store.. I don't mind guys looking at her (because she's the hottest girl ever) or even asking politely to take her picture since she usually wears foxy costumes (last year she was jungle Bettie Page). But this fucking "hentai" style behavior has got to go, and it's all over the conventions I've been to. You're not going to see it sitting around a table in the open gaming room, it's out in the common areas.

And you know, I completely agree with Mr. Skeletor's last post...that's the kind of straight talk I admire the Aussies we have here at F:AT for. Well stated.

Anonymous- We've got a female F:ATer but we don't have a cunt on board yet? Wanna join?

Anonymous said...

"Anonymous- We've got a female F:ATer but we don't have a cunt on board yet? Wanna join? "

Good try Barnes, but as usual its too much, over the top and late to the party!

Your "Den Mother" has covered up your tattoos, combed your hair and tightened up that fanny pack on that skinny ass of yours she admires so much because lets face it, I got 10 to 1 odds that those panties Ubarose talked about earlier are one's that have to be special ordered from the "Big and Beautiful" shop.

But hey man, you keep talking the talk because you and I both know you are nothing more than an "Ameritrash Poser"

Mr Skeletor said...


On Con Perverts- have you ever listened to some of the dialogue at any given scifi/fantasy/gaming convention?


No, because I have never been to any of those nerdfests.

Tom Hazlett (Southernman) said...

Lance Moody said...
Tom,
Let me guess...divorced, right?


?

Anonymous said...

any guy who claims to have never stared at a 17 year olds rack through the corner of his eye is full of shit. Girls don't suddenly develop into womanhood on the eve of their 18th birthday you know,


What Skeletor is trying to say is that even a farmer has to head out to the orchard and squeeze the peaches just before they ripen.

Rliyen said...

Lance Moody said...
Tom,
Let me guess...divorced, right?

?


Here, Tom, let me take out my chuckleheaded tosser to English translation dictionary.

*flip, flip, flip*

Oh, he's saying you're bitter.

MWChapel said...

But this fucking "hentai" style behavior has got to go, and it's all over the conventions I've been to. You're not going to see it sitting around a table in the open gaming room, it's out in the common areas.

Yeah, and furries too, you fags!

Lowest form of con-dreck.

Tom Hazlett (Southernman) said...

Rliyen said...
Lance Moody said...
Tom,
Let me guess...divorced, right?

?

Here, Tom, let me take out my chuckleheaded tosser to English translation dictionary.

*flip, flip, flip*

Oh, he's saying you're bitter.


Ahhh .... no - just a gruff antipodean like Mr Skeletor, but from the smaller islands so we can slip away into the background a bit easier.

But I'll get off the 'Lance the pedo' track as it obviously hasn't gone down that well ... well, you only find these things out by trying :-)

Thaadd said...

Looks like someone wants to out-angst F:AT's Aussie.

I don't think I've seen any Den Mother posts - seriously c'mon Uber trying to calm down Skeletor is laughable! Having more than one interest (doll shows, t.ex) just means she gets out more than Anon... (or works the shows) Sounds like like Anon is just sad his hobby has those scary girls...

As for the Con perverts - I've spent the last 12 years (since I was 18!) helping to run the local 'multi-focus' con. Yes. there are perverts. I had a creep who figured out where I worked (selling computers at the time) bringing pictures of my 'Oola' (geekcheck dc 12) costume and showing the computer techs when I was helping other customers. (I think I was 20 at the time). Same pervert was later busted for making out with a 13 year old (and had to be 30, at least) He honestly did not get why I was pissed if I dressed up at a Con and did not want shots of my ass shown around at my work.

I like kids at Cons, but until they're savvy enough to fend for themselves (which could be 15, could be 25, depending on the kidlet) I think parents should keep an eyeball on them.

Mr Skeletor said...

bringing pictures of my 'Oola' (geekcheck dc 12) costume

I had to google the name so I failed the geek check.

Muzza said...

I want a copy of Derk's theme tune to send to people I don't like at Christmas time.

As for weirdo's at cons. I went to a con a few years ago and met a few people who *weren't* weird. The rest gave me the impression the dribbly ward had been let out for the day. I would never have accused any of them of any kind of sexual inapropriateness tho'.

As for the Magic Girl thing. Another example of the PC thought police in action. I'm almost tempted to give Magic Girl a thumb in protest but don't think the pic warrants one.

Anonymous said:
'blah, blah, blah'... actually who gives a shit what the spineless bitch says.

Muzza said...

...oh and as for the 90% butthead comment. Barnes has gotta be at least 15% Beavis so it just don't stand up.

Forelle said...

Thaad said: bringing pictures of my 'Oola' (geekcheck dc 12) costume

Mr. Skeletor said: I had to google the name so I failed the geek check.


Not only did I fail the geekcheck, but I immediately thought of Jane Adams in Wonder Boys, which would be one odd choice of costume at a con.

Mr Skeletor said...

I was thinking Barnes, we should start a podcast.
We can call it butthead and butthead.

Simon said...

Yes! Please do that.

But also invite robartin, he has a clear voice.

Ken B. said...

What, were we making Star Wars Geek checks?

Oola, Joh Yowza, Max Reebo, Sy Snoodles, Figrin Dan, The Modal Nodes...all starring in "Star Wars: The Musical!"


NAH NAH NAH....GOO NEE TAY!

Pat H said...

What the fuck is this thread about? I am gong to agree with Mr. S on the whole con issue. I can think of 100 better events to attend that aren't filled with dozens upon dozens of douchebags and nerds. Let there be no doubt that the pedophile champions go out shopping too, just go to your local mall if you really need to see what a creepy fuck looks like. Just like the ass-scratching, finger-up-nose losers that Michael mentioned earlier, just give them a look and they cower back to their filthy basement-in-mom's-house den.

Anyone who claims that someone is "90 % butthead" needs to do some lernin' 'bout cussin. It is mathematically impossible to be 90% butthead - the whole point of being a butthead is that your all in.

Sounds like a BGG nuthugger 100%.

Michael Barnes said...

I was thinking Barnes, we should start a podcast.
We can call it butthead and butthead.


Not whimsical enough...today's board gamers demand whimsy. How 'bout "Tits n' Bits"? Or "Tinkle Poo and Boogie Shoe's Game Fancy"? I get to be Boogie Shoe.

But also invite robartin, he has a clear voice.

That's just all of Week's audio sweetening...in real life, Robartin sounds like a cross between Tricky, Tom Waits, Harvey Fierstein, and Kim Carnes all eating glass and drinking draino.

What the fuck is this thread about?

Come now Pat, don't you know that the NECRONOMICON, the BOOK OF EIBON, the CABALA OF SABOTH, and the PNAKOTIC MANUSCRIPTS are nothing more than transcriptions of our discussions here? That's why people go crazy and get confused.

Ken B.- Oona goota, Franklin Cobb?

Pat H said...

Yog says either you commit to a curse %100 or don't bother. Ole' Shub won't even comment.

Ken B. said...

You fail your geekcheck, Mr. Barnes. The answer we were looking for was "Oo-ta Goo-ta, Solo?"


Next question: "Ke Ku Kechuta?"

mtlawson said...

You dressed up as Oola, Thaad? Yikes. That'll get you some stares.

Oh crap, I guess that means I passed my GC. However, I can plead that it's my son and my brother-in-law who are the Star Wars nuts, so I knew it from them.

(Yeah, right.)

--Mike L.

Michael Barnes said...

You fail your geekcheck, Mr. Barnes.

Quiet, you!

Thaadd said...

mtlawson said...

You dressed up as Oola, Thaad? Yikes. That'll get you some stares.

Stares I expected. Hell, invited. I had a friend riding wingman as Boba Fett. (which was handy, even if it meant I was getting yanked around by a neckchain for show...

I was 19, and more inclined to show off then. I moved in to Mgmt for the 'Con, and have not had time to get a good costume going for a while. I had one this year, but was too tuckered out to reprise Halloween's 'Bride of C'thulhu'. (one of those tentacles has an interior of clear tubing, and was watersealed so I could drink wine by dipping the tentacle into a goblet.)

Metalcheck dc 10, I dressed up as Slymenstra H. the year before. (name that band!)

Needless to say, not going into politics any day soon.

Michael Barnes said...

Every year I say I'm going to do a costume for Dragon Con...yet I come up with these cockamamie ideas that just aren't possible. Like my famous plans I drew up to be a Star Destroyer. Or the time that I was going to make an Atlas (yeah, from BATTLETECH) costume that got as far as buying parts for it. My plan to go as the One Ring could have reached fruition, but I didn't feel like wearing a spray-painted gold innertube the whole damn time.

But this year I'm going as the ocean from SOLARIS, I swear.

MWChapel said...

I think I'd like to go as a Sarlacc, In which I'll wear a burlap sack that has only one opening at my asshole. I'll shove a boba-fett action figure half way up there for realism.

Boba fett? Boba Fett?!

Ken B. said...

Is this like the time Eddie Murphy had a GI Joe up his ass?


"AND THEN A BIG BROWN SHARK CAME! De-DEE-duh-dee-duh...."

Rliyen said...

Closest I got was getting the Vault Dweller (Fallout)costume made for Halloween. Turned out to be too obscure for its own good. Never went to a con dressed up as anything. Nothing sadder than seeing some overweight guy dressed up like one of his favorite FEMALE character. *shudder* Where's the brain bleach?

I think I'll make a papier mache version of Vault Boy's head and add that to the costume. At least no one will know who I am when I walk around.

ubarose said...

Pat H said...

What the fuck is this thread about?



There was some name calling.
A discussion of boobs.
A discussion of perverts.
An exchange of insults.
An anime reference.
One guy bragged about how hot his wife is.
We took a moment to envision an attractive gamer in a scanty costume.
A couple of Chthulu references.
Some obscure Star Wars Trivia.
Chapel promised to shove an action figure up his ass.

Add dice, beer, someone shouting "mother fucker," and a debate about music, and we have a fairly accurate simulation of a typical game night at my house. Well, except for Chapel shoving action figures up his ass.

Ken B. said...

Well, except for Chapel shoving action figures up his ass.


Clearly you guys are attending the wrong game nights.

mtlawson said...

(Pauses over that mental image.)

Ew.

My eyes! It burns, it burns!

--Mike L.

mtlawson said...

(one of those tentacles has an interior of clear tubing, and was watersealed so I could drink wine by dipping the tentacle into a goblet.)

Now THAT'S inventive, and something I'd have expected the engineers at my alma mater to come up with. You didn't go to Dayton, did you? It's not the same party school it was when I was there, but still...

--Mike L.

Mr Skeletor said...

Yes! Please do that.

But also invite robartin, he has a clear voice.


What, My Aussie Drawl not clear enough for you???

Actually we should do A F:AT podcast with rotating hosts. That way I can never rock up and still get credit for it, kind of like I do on the blog.

Someone tie Ken up before he starts convulsing with ultra nerdgasims.

Mr Skeletor said...

Barnes: "tits and Bits" wont work as the audience would kind of expect tits... as well as bits.
Plus Roborally Joe might start picketing the front of my house.

Mr Skeletor said...

Stares I expected. Hell, invited. I had a friend riding wingman as Boba Fett. (which was handy, even if it meant I was getting yanked around by a neckchain for show...

Alright, if anyone actually uncovers pictures of this I'll get you a job on staff here.*

I was 19, and more inclined to show off then.

Wait a minute - you mean there was a period of time where you were even more photogenic then you are now? How is that even possible?

I moved in to Mgmt for the 'Con, and have not had time to get a good costume going for a while. I had one this year, but was too tuckered out to reprise Halloween's 'Bride of C'thulhu'. (one of those tentacles has an interior of clear tubing, and was watersealed so I could drink wine by dipping the tentacle into a goblet.)

That goes so beyond nerdy it actually crosses into pure badass awesomeness.

Metalcheck dc 10, I dressed up as Slymenstra H. the year before. (name that band!)

Another check I fail, bah, most metal sucks these days except for Katatonia anyway.

Best costume I ever wore was the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz that my dad made for me. I was 6 at the time. And now that I think about it it may have been my brother and not me.


* don't expect me to actually honor this.

Mr Skeletor said...

Well, except for Chapel shoving action figures up his ass.

Clearly you guys are attending the wrong game nights.


Does the action figure ass shoving happen before or after you engage in a bad ass session of Mission: Red Planet?

Mr Skeletor said...

I hope Octavian doesn't lock this thread for my multi posting.

bob_the_goon said...

This is as close to a costume as I've ever worn, but I thought it'd be fun for a day at Origins:

http://picasaweb.google.com/miscellaneousdebris/Bob_the_goon/photo#5088349168908019858

I got a ton of positive responses to it too, and set some gamers at Mayfair's tables a twitter with lots of muttering.

Pat H said...

Just when I thought things were getting odd, Chapel pulls a "Boba-fudge" and rights the ship. Phew!

Now...where did my Megatron go?

bob_the_goon said...

Let's try that link again.

Pat H said...

Ubarose - thanks for clearing up the minutes of todays smack-talk-gathering-of-bozo's. I've got a handle on it now.

Muzza said...

That's MR. Bozo to you, swing-sniffer!

Michael Barnes said...

KATATONIA? Frank, it's my turn to be grossly ashamed of your pussified tastes. Good grief, does anything they recorded after BRAVE MURDER DAY qualify as metal _anyway_? Yuck.

If you want to listen to weak-ass quasi-metal like that, listen to Lifelover instead...at least their records have naked girls covered in blood on them. They're actually pretty damn good too, if you don't mind handclaps in your metal.

I actually think that metal is the one genre of music that's remained strong and hasn't completely destroyed itself like say, goth or punk...granted, almost all of the mainstream-ish stuff is in fact crap. There's a lot of really small under-the-radar bands doing some really awesome stuff.

And the first person to start ruminating about the "genius" of Queensryche is automatically banned from F:AT.

You're right Ubarose, this thread is pretty much an accurate replication of any given game night for me. All that's missing is having a whipping boy like "Poor Ol" Steve Avery and Will Kenyon drunkenly leading some folks through whatever FFG game he happens to be playing that night.

Muzza said...

Wolfmother is my metal of choice lately. OK, it is very old school, very Zeppelin, but that is probably why I like it.

Mr Skeletor said...

Bob that top is fucking great. At least the back is anyway.

Never heard Brawve Murder Day or their earlier albums, and have no wish too. I got over cookie monster vocals when I upgraded from watching Sesame Street to the Muppet show.

Mr Skeletor said...

Oh and I automatically dismiss any of that goth metal shit that puts chicks on the album cover. Talk about lacking originality!

Michael Barnes said...

Hey, I pretty much do too...call it the "Cradle of Filth" prejudice. In fact, I gave that band a pass at first because of it.

Cookie Monster vocals is really more of a grindcore thing...BM is more of a shrieky, screamy sort of thing.

*Sigh*, all this noise...I remember back in the good old days when we talked about board games.

Mr Skeletor said...

Cookie Monster vocals is really more of a grindcore thing...BM is more of a shrieky, screamy sort of thing.

So I trade cookie monster vocals with some whiney cunt who is trying to imitate the Exorcist. Fuck that, give me some good emotive vocals any day.

Not to mention the BM crowd are the fucking WORST when it comes to bitching about bands for daring to release an album whose production doesn't sound like it comes from a toilet bowl.

hacksword said...

Metalcheck dc 10, I dressed up as Slymenstra H. the year before. (name that band!)


Hooray, I think I know this one. Is it Gwar?

Tom Hazlett (Southernman) said...

That t-shirt ... oh to get a group wandering around a BGG-friendly Con in them.

Best costume for me: has to be me and a mate going as phlegm ... wearing a green plastic rubbish sack with arms, face, hair dyed with green food colouring and green gel and shampoo poured liberally over our heads and down the plastic sack - but we seemed to be very unpopular at the party.

But back to the raiding party in those t-shirts .... where !

Michael Barnes said...

Not to mention the BM crowd are the fucking WORST when it comes to bitching about bands for daring to release an album whose production doesn't sound like it comes from a toilet bowl.

No argument there, that's absolutely true. I do think that bad production (like crap art in some 1980s games) can lend an interesting atmosphere- see Ulver's NATTENS MADRIGAL for example or any of the Ruins of Beverast material- but this idea that good production is somehow a liability is ridiculous. It's one of the reasons why the Eurogamers hate AT so much- they hate dead sexy modernity and prefer the assumed charm and whimsy of "Olde Worlde" bits.

bob_the_goon said...

That t-shirt ... oh to get a group wandering around a BGG-friendly Con in them.

I figured with Mr. Thornquist and Mr. Vasel walking around it would be worth wearing. Unfortunately I ran into both of them the same day when I did not have the shirt on.

Michael Barnes said...

Holy shit Bob- I just looked at the shirt...that's hysterical!

Especially since I'm so very wrong...

mtlawson said...

Best costume for me: has to be me and a mate going as phlegm ... wearing a green plastic rubbish sack with arms, face, hair dyed with green food colouring and green gel and shampoo poured liberally over our heads and down the plastic sack - but we seemed to be very unpopular at the party.


That dredges up bad memories of The Young Ones.

::shudder::

--Mike L.

mtlawson said...

I wouldn't say Queensryche has a lot of genius, but they ain't bad either. They just do their own thing, and aren't too worried about the critics.

It's not like they're Tiffany or something.

--Mike L.

Michael Barnes said...

Definitely a valid perspective...but at least Tiffany goes (went?) to bed every night realizing that what she did was nothing but absolute crap.

Tom Hazlett (Southernman) said...

mtlawson said...
That dredges up bad memories of The Young Ones.

::shudder::

--Mike L.


The 'Sick' episode maybe ? ... same era and it was (still is - DVDS within eyesight) one of our faves at the time.

Michael Barnes said...

"I'm writing a letter to Echo and the Bunnymen. Dear Echo..."

mtlawson said...

Ha. I relegate Rail to the "crap" pile, myself.

--Mike L.

mtlawson said...

Yes, it was the "Sick" episode. When that plastic bag exploded.... ew....

--Mike L.

Tom Hazlett (Southernman) said...

It wasn't too far off a student flat of mine back then as well ... we had a party one summer and the lounge window was broken but no one could be bothered calling the landlord so the curtain was nailed across the frame - and it was still like that in winter as we watched TV in our sleeping bags, then there was the all night party with the bonfire out the front and the garage was slowly dismantled for fuel, and practising our golf swings inside and taking divots out of the (very old) carpet ... ahhh, those were the days - and not a boardgame in sight, the closet was a pair of dice used in a frequently played drinking game .... EUREKA - my Ameritrash start point !! Quickly over to that thread on that other site ....

Mr Skeletor said...


I figured with Mr. Thornquist and Mr. Vasel walking around it would be worth wearing. Unfortunately I ran into both of them the same day when I did not have the shirt on.


BOB! YOU FAILED US AGAIN!

bob_the_goon said...

BOB! YOU FAILED US AGAIN!

I only have one shirt, but I guess we could have made more. It was really a last minute sort of thing. Did you really want AT gamers represented by a fat man wearing the same smelly shirt day in day out? I did tell someone that the ink was mixed with the tears of Thornquist. . .