Thursday, 29 November 2007

Hey, I brought you a Christmas present. Step out of the car please.


Nothing captures the spirit of the holiday season quite like a cattlegun to the front of the skull. Except maybe those ubiquitous gift guides where some jackass tries to tell you what you ought to get your ungrateful relatives who likely already have a special box in the basement where they store all those "stupid foreign board games" you foist on them at every gifting opportunity.

So cue up that haunting, funereal Charlie Brown christmas dirge that sounds like an acapella Cocteau Twins remix...I whipped up a little holiday gift guide myself to ease your shopping obligations.

17 comments:

the*mad*gamer said...

Boardgames really do make great Christmas gifts.

What frustrates me is that you see see Jamie Lee Curtis on TV saying the same thing but pushing the same old tired games, like Sorry, Operation and Monopoly.

A hot babe pushing boardgames is exactly what the industry needs! I hear Fantasy Flights games is thinking along the same lines for their TV commercials. Rumor has it they are talking with "Ugly Betty" to push their line of games!

Michael Barnes said...

It bears repeating- Jamie Lee Curtis was born a hermaphrodite.

I agree that board games do make good gifts- to the right people. I knew this guy once who gave his dad a copy of the GMT wargame KASSERINE because he liked WW2. His dad gave it right back to him without opening it. I was at Borders last night and they had piles of crummy games, including the 300 game. And I thought about all the Marines, football players, high school wrestlers, visual effects producers, Frank Miller acolytes, and classical studies enthusiasts, and so forth that will be getting the 300 board game for christmas and either returning it or taking it to the thrift store.

Ugly Betty...doesn't Salma Hayek have something to do with that program? She could probably talk a lot of young men into playing TI3.

goldenboat said...

Thumbs up for Mario Bava.

Michael Barnes said...

Bava rules. Just got the 2nd box set (already had everything in the first)- some top-notch stuff there, BAY OF BLOOD, LISA AND THE DEVIL, and BARON BLOOD in particular. RABID DOGS/KIDNAPPED is nearly great- a pretty straightforward crime thriller that takes place almost entirely within a car.

Shellhead said...

During the three months that I worked for Fantasy Flight in the warehouse, they had a 75% employee discount. So it was a boardgame Christmas that year, allowing me to hoard cash just long enough to get back into a career-related job that paid well.

I gave:

Lord of the Rings to my girlfriend (at her request) which she immediately re-gifted to her younger brother.

Mini Inkognito to my mom, because she likes spy novels.

Citadels to my dad, because the box is almost the same color as his beloved 3M bookshelf game, Acquire.

Mutiny! to my sister, because she likes both pirates and Captain Morgan's spiced rum.

Sadly, I have no idea if any of these games ever got played. Next time I visit my family in Shreveport, I will teach them how to play these games.

NeonPeon said...

Ah Christmas board game gifts...

Christmas is why I have Lord of the Rings Risk, The Invention Game, and Caylus. Well, I should be thankful I don't get varieties of Monopoly and Trivial Pursuit, I guess.

Thaadd said...

Call me a weirdo, but I generally just either make something, or cook something for friends/family. Sister will get homemade Lime Marmalade and a handmade apron (safely thinking she will never read this blog, so it will say likely 'Touch my knives and I'll cut you'...she's a cook), roommates get cookies, coworkers the same, and the out of town relatives get a cheerful, dull phonecall where we talk about the weather. (My Uncle still thinks M:TG is a boardgame).

I keep my games for myself!

Shellhead said...

I would wear an apron, but only if it said, "I don't think, I just stab!"

Casey said...

Road to Legend out by Christmas? That's pretty ballsy to say, especially since the FFG site says Early 2008.

Not that I'm complaining if it WERE to come out by Christmas.

Casey said...

But also on the Descent and gift note, I bought by friend and brother-in-law (my regular Descent opponents) their own set of Descent dice.

ubarose said...

I've only given a board game to someone who wasn't really a gamer once. My brother Strider was complaining that his life was hell since the LOTR movies came out. So I gave him a bunch of cheap LOTR crap to yank his chain.

I am giving some games to my gamer friends and family members, but I can't say what here, because some of them read this. I don't know if I will get anything. Everything I wanted is out of stock/preorder. I guess I'm just going to have to play with my friend's new toys.

ubarose said...

Michael Barnes said...

I was at Borders last night and they had piles of crummy games, including the 300 game. And I thought about all the Marines, football players, high school wrestlers, visual effects producers, Frank Miller acolytes, and classical studies enthusiasts, and so forth that will be getting the 300 board game for christmas and either returning it or taking it to the thrift store.


Could be worse. They could get THIS.

StephenAvery said...

I would wear an apron, but only if it said, "I don't think, I just stab!"

Shellhead RULEZ!!

Steve"Agog"Avery

Michael Barnes said...

Road to Legend out by Christmas?

Look, I wrote the article like 2 days before they changed the date on it and the ToI expansion. Besides, false hopes are what Christmas is all about anyway.

300 Trivial Pursuit...that's pretty funny...all answers delivered in the form of screaming.

Ken B. said...

How about "Jeopardy: 300 Edition?"



Um..."WHAT IS SPARTA?!"

"CORRECT! PICK AGAIN!"

"I'LL TAKE 'ANDROGYNOUS GOD-KINGS WITH KNEELING FETISHES', PLEASE!!"

"FOR?!"

"FOR GLORRRRYYYY!!!!"

robartin said...

Huh? I thought you were soliciting prayer donations for a new minivan. What the fuck?

Casey said...

Look, I wrote the article like 2 days before they changed the date

Ah, I gotcha. I was hoping you had some secret inside info that it actually was going to make it by Christmas.