Friday, 21 September 2007

The "Ever Increasingly Misnamed" Weekly Snapshot: 09/21/07







"Including a total of over 180 mini booze bottles and dozens of drunk types, Barcraft: The Board Game features an innovative modular bar of varying sizes which guarantees a new experience each and every binge. An exciting card driven puking system allows drinkers to modify and upgrade their belt notches with a wealth of powerful whores. Players can unleash a Yuengling rush, use powerful Prairie Fire shots to halt an sober enemy, or even send cloaked Zombies out to guide uncontrollable piss missiles to the fake plant in the corner."



Today's image and write-up comes to us courtesy of the ever-mysterious "Powdered Toast Man." Thanks, Toast!

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29 comments:

mtlawson said...

He he he....

That could be Kramer's at UD right after a basketball game; there always used to be some really entertaining people there.

Good one.

--Mike L.

Michael Barnes said...

Hmm...maybe Powdered Toast Man is an "insider" over at FFG and this his way of blowing the whistle on why they're always late getting stuff out...

I had a whole battery of STARCRAFT liquor jokes to post, but I realized that many of them are now ancient internet history. I don't want to look like a geezer.

Thaadd said...

I bet I would get in SO much trouble mocking up a box of that...

Great graphic. Your flavor text could use some work. Whores? Where did whores come from?

Michael Barnes said...

Apparently from somewhere powerful!

Pat H said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pat H said...

Thaadd said:
"Whores? Where did whores come from?"

Probably from those seedy adds at the back of the freebie weekly papers. I don't know about down there but they're all over the place up here...

Too many sociological angles to discuss easily in this place. What concerns me is their proximity to Protoss weaponry lying around unattended at the bar.

Pimps should be scared - very scared.

Michael Barnes said...

I"m more worried about the Zerg Frat Rush that might stem from this.

Pat H said...

Zerg hazing? Oh my...

Michael Barnes said...

God damn it, now I'm trying to dig up my old STARCRAFT CD...

Ken B. said...

Ha, I just noticed the "whores" part. I'm guessing he meant "wares"?

Or maybe the next galactic civil war WILL be won by wench-tossing.


"FIRE IN THE HO!"

Anonymous said...

No I think he ment "whores" because says "upgrade your belt notches" meaning how many chicks you've banged

Anonymous said...

You know what that looks like a fag bar theres not a single girl in the picture in the right

Michael Barnes said...

It could also mean how many Zergs you've banged, though.

Thaadd said...

There are three 'humans' in the picture. Not exactly a representative sample size to go classing any bars.

Ah. The Zerg/Protoss slashfic. I can picture it now. (Where is that brainbleach when I need it?!)

notbillysparkles said...

Okay... this thread seems dead.

But the mention of bars brought back fond memories of leisurely listening to tunes whilst Lady Alcohol worked her magic on my, then, plentiful braincells.

Let's liven things up by playing a quick round of NAME THAT TUNE!!!

Let's start with something easy shall we?

Who "sang" ( if you know the answer-you know why the quotation marks are necessary ;-) ):

Alice pressed against the wall
So she can see the door
In case the laughing strangers
crawl and
Crush the petals on the floor

Michael Barnes said...

Jesus christ. All of the sudden I'm in 10th grade, riding around in a 1985 Nissan Pulsar and listening to a terrible scratchy cassette copy of a couple of Sisters of Mercy 12"s my elder goth role model supplied me.

But yeah, Notbilly, nothing brings back the memory of seedy goth bars like Sisters of Mercy...or "Cities in Dust" for that matter...or some Skinny Puppy track the DJ plays that no one can dance to...

I wanted so bad to see that tour they did with Public Enemy and Gang of Four...

notbillysparkles said...

Harr!Haar!! I can just picture you, all bedecked in black (perhaps with some black lipstick and a touch of white foundation?), looking the very picture of a goth God, tooling aroung in a... Nissan Pulsar.

Ahhh, good times.

Billy Z.

notbillysparkles said...

Skinny Puppy toured with Public Ennemy!? What year was this?

Michael Barnes said...

No, it was the Sisters with Public Enemy, Gang of Four, and the now-forgotten prog-metal act Warrior Soul...it was right after "Vision Thing" came out, the "Tune In, Turn On, Drop Out" Tour...it was actually heavily advertised on MTV. Imagine that.

Heh...there was one time I got pulled over in that Nissan Pulsar coming home from a Christian Death show (the bad one)...and I had on eyeliner and a purple mohawk. I was in the sticks of Douglasville, GA so all I could think about was how this redneck cop was going to beat me to death. The cop came up, and he says to my friend "Are y'all coming back from a KISS concert?"- but it a very friendly, "I think it's kinda cool" way. Then he let us go without any further incident.

Pat H said...

Mohawks are good - I sported an Exploited classic myslef, but the eyeliner... I dunno... you're lucky that cop didn't go all Deliverance on you.

Jack White said...

Meg, come thither and suck on my nozzle.

mtlawson said...

Once in a while, Mike, the cops can surprise you.

Once in a while.

--Mike L.

Michael Barnes said...

Whoa Pat...are we talking "Exploited mohawk" like those that Wattie and the boys sport on the back of the "Massacre" LP? Those are _amazing_ pieces of mohawkery. In fact, I think those take the Mohawk Cup. Martin Degville of Sigue Sigue Sputnik used to hold it until I found out his was phony. Mine was pretty lame, really...it was pretty big, but I rarely pinned it up. and it usually wound up looking like crap after 20 minutes.

Michael Barnes said...

Actually, my biggest bust ever came one night when I was taking some friends home after gaming...we had a bunch of D&D and MAGIC stuff in the car and we got pulled over by _3_ squad cars. They hassled us for like an hour, handcuffed us, and everything...for nothing. They went through all the stuff in the car and had no idea what it was. They didn't brutalize us, but they did a lot of shoving. It was actually really scary and eventually they just left. This was in Smyrna, GA if that makes any sense to you.

Pat H said...

Yeah I had a nice one. I was really starting to drive everyone nuts around that time and it didn't last too long. I then grew my hair quite long (and continued to drive everyone even more nuts).

Exploited were great.

I'm trying to get some time to see Shadows Fall and Arch Enemy this weekend to get some metal stabbyness in, and then head off to "Barcraft".

Michael Barnes said...

Yes, I love the Exploited...man, I thought I was such a bad ass in 7th grade because I had an Exploited tape. I actually took it to school with me.

mtlawson said...

Hmm. Back when I was more into SF fandom, I knew of some Pern fans who were from Smyrna. I guess I always figured it was a generic suburb.

As for mohawks, the biggest mohawk I ever saw was a dude from college who got a bunch of hair gell and straightened his long mohawk straight up. It went up somewhere around 2+ feet, so he went from 6' to 8' just like that. And of course -as you'd expect- he did it for a formal reception a bunch of us went to (so we could eat for free, being poor college students).

--Mike L.

Pat H said...

Using eggs is the cheapest and most effective method to have a cool looking mohawk.

Thaadd said...

although this topic is likely long dead, feel the urge to post this picture.


being 18 was FUN.