Its official: According to BGG, Euros now suck

This blog’s not so secret origins lay in the fact that my fellow FATies and I got tired of hearing the trumpeting of the BGG ‘masses’ about the Euro revolution, the new enlightenment in gaming spreading like the word of Christ from Germany that was set to change the world of cardboard forever. Plastic trembled in its spurs as African rainforests were felled en masse in order to create the new messiah of gaming – the meeple.

Now according to those same people, Euros are suddenly not worth the money.

Yes, I am of course referring to mayfair’s decision to put a 20% floor price (also known as “price fixing” to intellectual simpletons who don’t know what price fixing actually is) on their games.

Let us take a quick look at the basic three gamer groups and their buying habits:

Ameritrashers probably have the most expensive games of the three; we like lots of stuff, and we don’t mind paying for it. FFG’s epic boxes seem to be big sellers, we are forever forking out into expansions, and our subgroups such as collectable card/miniature games and table top games are known as money pits in the wider gaming world. The out of print market on ebay is very strong, classics like Warhammer Quest, Dune and Magic Realm command a pretty penny, and each year more reprints of such classics as Talisman and Titan are announced to a hungry audience. Ameritrashers love their games and are willing to spend on them.

Wargamers are possibly worse. At least when we ameritrashers pay top dollar for a game we get top shelf stuff. Wargamers pay top dollar for a few paper maps and some thin cardboard chits for some game they will probably have to play online anyway! Not only that but they pay for these games months before they even come out! Certainly they are mad, but no one can deny that there is a deep seeded love there.

Now finally we come to Eurogamers, who will evangelise the hobby ‘till the cows come home, build new rooms to store their exponentially growing collections and try and fit a dozen different games into their schedule every game night. Then they boycott a company because they can’t get 35% off.

What the hell?

So let me get this straight – Settlers of Catan, Pillars of the earth, Modern Art, Tigris And Euphrates, and every other game these geek gold whores have been pimping since the moment I first logged into BGG are suddenly not that great because you have to pay full price. Let me repeat that – you don’t consider these games, which you have wasted reams and reams of bandwidth on, worth their full recommended retail price?

Get the fuck out of here you fickle bastards.

These games are not games are going UP in price (which would piss anyone off,) all that is happening is that these “fans” are now going to be expected to pay the normal price, actually not even that - 20% less than normal price. Yet this move is enough to apparently cause people to jump off the bandwagon. I really have to wonder why there aren’t more gay guys in the Eurogame scene with all of the big tight asses that are there.

Then again maybe if I was buying games with the mentality that a dozen plays is “more than I’ll get out of any game” I’d think RRP was a rip off too. Thankfully AT isn’t that disposable.

The biggest irony of course is that all of the people who are outraged because they have a right to 35% off, and who don't perceive games to be worth their RRP, are demonstrating the exact reason why Mayfair is doing this in the first place.

The net conclusion is simple – if Eurogames are only worth buying if your getting a hefty discount then they can’t be that great to begin with. Ergo AT and Wargames, whose fans happily pay full price for (notice StarCraft is selling out everywhere even though it doesn’t have the normal hefty discount,) are superior. You Euroclowns who were attempting to shove your “not worth RRP” shit down our throat for years can express your apologies bellow, starting with Monkey-Man.