Tuesday, 8 January 2008

For those of you who haven't been following the comments sections...

No, we're not dead. We're not "giving up"--in fact, most of us are more fired up right now than we have been in a long time.


So here's a little thread to let everyone know that


SOMETHING BIG IS COMING FROM THE FORTRESS....AND VERY SOON



Look for our sentimental send-offs to the old girl to start soon. And stayed glued to this space for details...things are about to get VERY interesting.


And another belated thank you to everyone who has checked out our blog over the past nine+ months. Your patience and interest are hopefully about to be rewarded in spades.



"Gabbo". The "Blue Harvest" of Ameritrash boardgaming.


It's coming.



55 comments:

Frank Branham said...

You know, I read the comments section, and I have no earthly idea what that post was about.

Or does it mean that you fail at press releases...

Ken B. said...

That too.

Michael Barnes said...

That's it, I'm spilling the beans.

F:AT is moving to a printed newsletter format. That's right, we're going to start sending out a monthly, printed newsletter to subscribers with crude, Printshop-quality artwork and way-behind-current articles. We've always been about recapturing the spirit of '80s gaming here, so we're going to do it retro-style. We'll also be running Diplomacy PBM (that's snail mail, folks) and there'll also be sections for Trek and Pern fandom.

Huh? Gabbo? Oh, that's something else...

MWChapel said...

sweet! Glossies rock. I can't wait for the next installment of "Wormy"!

Ken B. said...

Porn Fandom? FRICKIN' SWEET!


Oh. "Pern". Buncha nerds.


Wait, what?

LilRed said...

Gabbo the blue harvest eh?

Is it an Agricola playing robot that will know each optimal move and ruin euro's forever?

*can only hope*

Excited about you F:AT's new format, and thanks for the great content for the past 9 months ;).

Juniper said...

I think Gabbo is going to turn out to be a big, multi-issue story arc in which it's revealed that Matt Thrower was replaced by his clone months ago. When the real Matt emerges from suspended animation, we'll also learn that robartin wasn't killed when he impaled himself on his own Goblin Glider back in F:AT #122. He's back from his self-imposed seclusion in Europe, and he's looking for VENGEANCE!

But how will fans react when they learn that some of their favorite Amazing Mattdp adventures weren't actually about Matt at all?

Michael Barnes said...

Glossies rock.

Sorry Chappy...we can't cater to your bourgosie tastes. F:AT will be printed on canary yellow or baby blue paper, depending on what's in the dot matrix at the time.

Juniper said...

Dot matrix? You're not using mimeograph? Smells so gooood.

Joe Belanger said...

Blue Harvest is still one of my top ten films of ALL time!

Michael Barnes said...

Yes, GABBO/BLUE HARVEST will be a great continuation of the adventures of Matt Thrower and the F:AT gang. We'll get to learn the origin of Ubarose's invisible sedan and Chapel will pull a Magneto and join our side.

Have I ever told you guys that I'm writing THE BIBLE 2? It's the best selling book in history, it demands a sequel. Don't you want to know what happened to JC and the boys _after_ the events described in the first one? Don't worry, unlike Buck Rogers, Scooby Doo, or Diff'rent Strokes I'm not changing the dynamic with a new robot, puppy, or Delta Burke.

Mr Skeletor said...

This thing is getting more hyped than cloverfield and snakes on a plane combined.

Joe Belanger said...

Have I ever told you guys that I'm writing THE BIBLE 2? It's the best selling book in history, it demands a sequel. Don't you want to know what happened to JC and the boys _after_ the events described in the first one?

You mean The Book of Mormon?

mtlawson said...

Hey, at least it's not Dianetics.

--Mike L.

Johnnyrobo said...

Don't you want to know what happened to JC and the boys _after_ the events described in the first one?

Didn't they start J.Crew?

Michael Barnes said...

You mean The Book of Mormon?

Totally unofficial and unsanctioned. That was to the bible what ZOMBI 2 (aka ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS) was to DAWN OF THE DEAD. This is going to be the real deal, a direct continuation of the characters and stories we were introduced to in the first one With a little CASINO ROYALE/BATMAN BEGINS-style rebooting.

This thing is getting more hyped than cloverfield and snakes on a plane combined.

Just wait until they start finding the encrypted clues here at F:AT and the "other" sites we've set up.

Juniper said...

The girl in the photo at fortressameritrash.org is wearing an orange sweater, and Ken B.'s avatar is mostly orange. Coincidence?

Michael Barnes said...

Hmm...but is it really a girl?

I think the keys on the keyboard spell out "Voltron".

Matt said...

For total seriousness, I'd be stoked on a F:AT print zine.

I could distro it at game nights...

Squigherder said...

Any more of this and you guys are going to have to change the name to

Fortress:Cocktease

Michael Barnes said...

Heh...and you haven't even seen Malloc's miniskirt and heels getup yet...

vandemonium said...

I am so confused. Did Gabbo shoot first or not?

Ken B. said...

OOTA GOOTA, GABBO?

Michael Barnes said...

Gabbo actually went back in time and shot before the universe was created, even before "shooting" existed. That's how awesome it is.

druenkree said...

"Gabbo Gabbo Hey"

Jur said...

If this is a hype, why doesn't somebody do a pre-order for the newsletter? And where can I rate this a 10 to balance all the eurosnoots who'll rate it a 1?

Juniper said...

I think I speak for everyone here when I say that, whatever Gabbo turns out to be, I hope that it has a ton of Tanga ads.

Michael Barnes said...

Shoot Juniper, we're going to sell issues via Tanga before paid subscribers get it. That suit ya?

Ken B. said...

At a discount, to boot.

adrianbolt said...

Unbelievable! I can't believe you've let some Nassau outfit called Web Advertising, Corp. to beat you to registering FortressAmeritrash.com. Or The pluto org in Baltimore for
FortressAmeritrash.org. Tell me it ain't so!!!!

As for F:AT Mark II, I hope you'll be having a game database, and not just forums, but GeekLists (TrashLists?), and livechat, and a fake currency (I've mentioned F:AT Farthings before). But most of all, can we have thumbs? No, not ThumbUps and Hide, or Thumbups and Flags, or even Thumbups and Thumbdowns! Put a F:AT spin on it and allow us to make only one comment on a post: please introduce the Finger!

vandemonium said...

I want my money back :(

Ken B. said...

So what you're asking for is BGG sans the douchebaggery. That's a taller order than you'd think.

Michael Barnes said...

Adrian- I've got an investigative team looking into those two firms you mentioned. I'm working on a chart that ties them back to Aldie, Z-Man Games, Tanga, and the Justified Ancients of Mu-Mu.

Frank Branham said...

So how does Malloc tie back to Aldie or Z-man?

Is it through the Order of Bavarian DIGers?

Juniper said...

So what you're asking for is BGG sans the douchebaggery. That's a taller order than you'd think.

Sounds like a single page of ASCII to me.

Michael Barnes said...

I met Malloc on Hagbard Celine's sub a couple of years ago. If that tells you anything.

Ken B. said...

This is like one of those old episodes on X-Files where Krycek would show up and try to advance some completely undecipherable agenda that was promptly forgotten a week later.

Michael Barnes said...

Didn't the black dude in the trenchcoat cut that guy's arm off with a bee?

Ken B. said...

Yep. I think that was right before Smoking Man sodomized him with a pack of Cloverfield cigarettes.

adrianbolt said...

michael barnes said...
"I've got an investigative team looking into those two firms..."
And won't it be a surprise if it turns out to be The Evil Overlord!
(Anybody remember him... didn't think so.)

Michael Barnes said...

That guy? I killed him in a game of SINISTAR circa 1983.

Gary Sax said...

Cool, looking forward to what you guys have planned.

Evil Overlord said...

I prefered to have the name burried when teenage zit-nerds started to think it was cool to be a evil overlord and hired Saatchi & Saatchi for a PR haulover

Joe Belanger said...

I'll be there, whatever it may be. I really loathe a good deal of those fuckers over there.

You state your opinion and several newbs trying to "make a name for themselves" jump on you with little to go on.

Max said...

Maybe they're going to hold an Ameritrash con in 2008?

Ken B. said...

It's not the "newbs" so much as the established shitheads who jump all over anything that disagrees with the status quo, whatever that might be. Whether it's "BGG could use improvements" or "Balloon Cup is overrated" or "Shogun isn't as fun as I expected", like clockwork you can expect a vociferous attact from some of BGG's most entrenched.

They're the equivalent to the grouchy old people you run into who shake their fists and insist young people today are ruining this country and things were better in 1947.

Look at the thread in which Friendless (a very cool chap and a guy who has visited our blog before) in which he merely suggested that the rankings be expanded (NOT REPLACED!)...he took a beating for several PAGES...the "counter-argument" was "THINGS ARE GREAT THE WAY THEY ARE, STUPID-HEAD!"


Never mind that the Geek is literally populated every day with questions or suggestions about the ratings system needing improvement. I guess those are just figments of people's imagination.



THE GEEK WORKS FINE FOR ME! IT DON'T NEED NO CHANGIN'! ATTACK!



Like I said...the 'Geek without the douchebaggery. That is indeed a tall order.



(..page of ASCII...juniper, you kill me.)

pat h said...

Any chance of seeing Prof Euro's douchebaggery prowess? The guy needs a column, kind of like a virtual pinata.

Michael Barnes said...

Ken's right on...it's the "established" people that are really the problem over there. I saw a post last week where a newbie posted something looking for other site because BGG wasn't doing it for them. Then here come a bunch of those "friendly avatars" with the usual "go back to Russia" style rhetoric.

Actually, GABBO is just one big, giantic "Five and Dime" list.

Joe Belanger said...

Yeah, I see that too.

My biggest issue, currently, is with a long-time turd that I've never been able to reason why he gets so much love.

Such an upside-down world over there.

Skelly said...

Max said...
Maybe they're going to hold an Ameritrash con in 2008?


http://gamesday.gamesclubofmd.org/GamesDayTrashFest.asp

Ken B. said...

My biggest issue, currently, is with a long-time turd that I've never been able to reason why he gets so much love.


Chappy? Aw, he's got the gruff exterior but a chewy center and a heart of gold.


Wait, you meant someone else. Carry on.

RK Fade said...

Exciting news, guys!

You need a mailing list. I didn't even know about this until Rliyen mentioned it in an email.

vialiy said...

They also fail at mailing lists.

Mr Skeletor said...

What's a mailing list?

Mr Skeletor said...

And who the fuck is "Skelly"?